What Will You Do With Smoothness That Lasts?

Veet Facebook ResponseI love how, thanks to the hi-tech Internet, when I watch Comedy Central online they just play the same ad 6 times. That’s why I’m so excited about Veet Hair Removal products (bonus points: not only does the Internet know I’m a man, but I knows I shave my filthy, hairy legs!) And, if you’re like me, when you see any sort of social media tie-ins in advertising, your eyes glaze over and you just start clicking and socialing. So when Veet sent me to Facebook to answer the question, “What will you do with smoothness that lasts?”, naturally I was helpess to resist.

Veet: What will you do with smoothness that lasts?

Me: A number of things. Primarily, I will use my long lasting smoothness to reduce my drag coefficent when I am moving at high speeds. I’ve calculated that at 100km/h I can reduce my drag coefficent from .49 to .42 thanks to Veet Ready To Use Strips Leg & Body. Additionally I will take advantage of the longevity of my smoothness during my all night porpoise dancing sessions. As you know, porpoises are incredibly, silky smooth. Thus, for a variety of human-porpoise dance styles, involving say, dorsal fin to thigh contact, lusciously smooth legs are a must.

Additionally I expect tertiary benefits at the metaphorical level, e. g., I expect my baby hairless legs to get me out of speeding tickets, awkward dates, and jury duty. Because, quite frankly, my smoothness will transcend my physical being and I’ll be able to silk my way out of life’s tight spots.

Veet, please send me 10,000 of your depilatory wax products so I can be forever freed from the manacles of my manly Irish-Japanese-Wookie legs.

With Kindest Regards,

EDW Lynch

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About EDW Lynch

EDW Lynch is one of the Bay Area's top 5 Humanitarians under 30.
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