A Shocking & Outrageous Thing That Happened to Me

So I’m at this Chinese supermarket I frequent and this butcher starts hassling me for opening those little windows in the cardboard bacon packages. And before I know it a giant wave of yuppie indignation wells up in me and I’m nanoseconds from getting all high-pitched and shrieky and demanding the manager and penning a blistering Yelp review.

Then I did that dumb thing where I tried to explain to him how you’re supposed to open the cardboard window so you can look at the bacon but I hit several barriers including language & our vastly divergent cultures and life experiences.

And so I will probably not buy the bacon at the Chinese supermarket anymore and instead I will go to the luxury market down the street where they massage you and open the bacon packages for you. Because Goddamnit we fought for these freedoms. And by “we” I mean “others not including myself,” as I’ve not had to fight for anything except for Radiohead tickets.